FOREPLAY: Look, Ma! No Hands!
Certainly there are fuck toys more complicated and costly than the
delightful devices reviewed in this section. But none more purely
exemplifies the perfect union of sex and technology. To put it bluntly,
these remote controlled toys make it easy for the average woman to orgasm
completely untouched by human hands or genitals!
That has to be some kind of first. Sure, we have known horny hausfraus who
say they can come rubbing up against a Maytag on spin-cyle...biker bitches
who've had Big-O's squirming on the backs of Harleys...horsey-set
strumpets who love the slap-slap-slap of snatch against saddle...even
commuter cunts who admit that by pressing their pussies against the seats
on the bouncy bus they can "get off" before their stop.
But such bawdy babes are the exceptions. Here we have an array of items
which, as they become more and more widely used by the masturbating
masses, may well usher in a new age of sexual freedom: Orgasmic release
achieved without the need for human contact-even when the human in
question happens to be the masturbator herself!
On the other hand, the American male benefits too: He's forever freed from
the need to interrupt Superbowl Sunday simply because his significant
other is moaning for a boning. Now he need only slap a pair of vibrating
panties onto his slut and idly fiddle with the remote (you know how guys
love controlling the remote anyway) while tubing out. Oh, and perhaps
check over his shoulder to see how she's doing, during boring commercial
breaks. That's what we call progress.
Remote Controlled Vibrator Reviews
Flying Eagle Vibrating Panty
The bird's the word! Carefully designed for high-flying clitoral and vaginal
stimulation, the Eagle sits snugly in her nest, held by a comfortable
"Brazilian-cut" butt-floss harness and Lycra panty with fully adjustable
straps for perfect fit. |
Remote Control Vibrating Panties
Way-better
than hot pants, these vibrating panties are a space-age miracle! The
ultra-comfortable soft leather T-back panties hold a vibrating bullet that
can be placed right on target-and orgasmically operated by long-range remote
control. |
Figure 8 Stimulator
Get behind the 8-ball! Every lewd
loop and carnal curlicue of this deceptively simple device has a passionate
purpose. Lower ring excites balls, center slot cradles bullet, top loop
stiffens bone-and curlicue tickles m'lady's clit or crapper. |
MX-100
Micro Bullet-Silver
It's like Stealth technology for a snatch or
shitter! The Micro-Bullet's incredibly small, incredibly quiet, AND
incredibly powerful-ideal for those times and places you need to get off but
don't need the whole world to hear what you're doing. |
Silver Bullet Vibrator
For the sensual strumpet who
insists her sexual stimulators stay classically clean, simple, and
sensational, we present the silver bullet. Slip it into a slit or shitter,
slide the multi-speed dial from low to high and feel the fantastic fun
begin! |
Vibrating Love Ring
Who do you love? Clamp this pleaser
around the prick-base, then twist the multi-speed vibrating bullet to the
perfect position to deliver wave after wonderful wave of pleasureful
pulsations to prick, balls, pussy lips and asshole! |
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