FOREPLAY: Dork Delights
Sweet...simple...no batteries required. Dildos are the basic building
blocks of bawdy behavior-as American as Mom and apple pie. In fact after
getting herself plumb tuckered out from making all those apple pies, Mom
probably retires to her bedroom (don't worry, this is someone else's Mom
we're talking about) whips out her dildo, and goes to town before dropping
off to sleep. Especially if Dad isn't ready, willing or able to give her
some donging of the flesh-and-blood variety. That's because dildos are the
perfect penile substitute.
They're always ready, even when you aren't. Of course they're ready when
you are, too. Want to see your slut suck dick while she takes hot cock in
her cunt? Well, you could hire a male hooker or call up her ex-boyfriend.
Or you could simply encourage her to bring to bed a dick of the definitely
detached variety. A dildo in fact.
Don't get us wrong: We love vibrators and other electro-erotic objects
too; but let's face it, there's something undeniably premeditated about
any device that requires a battery. You've got to go to the store, buy the
batteries, load up whatever sex toy...With dildos there are no such
chores...no batteries to run out at the worst possible moment, either.
Dildos are just there. Discretely, delightfully, deliciously there.
Dildos are most definitely here, too. In fact we have tested just about
the finest collection of the little darlings in the known universe. In all
sizes, from finger-small to forearm large; and in all degrees of realism,
from erotic abstractions to those so disquietingly detailed you'll think
you're dealing with the handiwork of the former-Mrs. John Wayne Bobbitt.
Scroll on down and see what we mean.
Bondage Toy Reviews
Cyberskin Cock With Balls
Science has reproduced the feel of flesh with this virtual touch Cybercock
with Balls. The dual density erect shaft with it's eight inches of
penetrating power is sure to feel like the dick in your dreams. Experience
the ultimate cyber orgasm! |
Microwavable Hot Cock
Does your twat like it hot? Nothin' says lovin' like somethin' from the
oven, so serve her up a decadent dish of piping penile porkroll! It's the
world's first microwavable member. Just pop it in for 20 secs, and
dick-dinner's done! |
The Realistic Cock 8"
Hand colored and molded directly from life to capture every bulge, crease
and vein of an actual massive member, The Realistic Cock's perfect for the
woman who likes everything about a good hard dick except the asshole |
Classic 8" Pink Jelly Dong
Lovingly tooled from firm,
fleshy, glistening translucent jelly, the Crystal Jellies classic 8" dildo
seems so elegantly unobstrusive it almost isn't there-until its generous
girth ravages a vagina or stretches a sphincter, that is! |
Combo Tool Purple Jelly
Work that asshole AND that
pussy with one cool tool! The smooth purple jelly dildo does its duty in
snapper or shitter-and also makes a fine handle for controlling the
rectally ravishing jelly-bead pooper-probe. |
Classic Dong White 10"
Watch out below! This bone
means business! Extra long, nice and fat, always ready, this party-of-ten
can definitely touch The Spot. For those special times when size
definitely counts, it's the ideal addition to a sex soiree of any
number. |
24K Golden Dong
Diamonds are a girl's best friend, but her snatch will fall in
love with this pieces-of-six (inch) golden jelly treasure! The Golden
Dong's a richly detailed, multispeed masterpiece she'll want you to bury
in each and all of her fuck holes. |
Jr. Double Dong 12" Pink
Jelly
Mmmm! Jelly in the belly! This two-headed monster has the warm fleshy feel
and cool, torridly translucent look of space-age jelly. It does double-duty
on the old in-out, slipping smoothly into virtually any combination of
mouth, cunt, and butt. |
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